SORRY

emotional heart that i could hardly concentrate on my study now. things happened. just like that again. did people treat you good because of you are their friends or because of they just wanna get you? so many question running on my head right now. did i really treat people wrongly? from now on, i will behave myself. i couldn't accept any more cases like this again. i treat them as best friend. that's all. what i given were just some hints and action. i knew whats that about. but did you really ask me, for what im thinking now? you care me, but did you care about my feeling too? i don't meant to hurt anyone. why couldn't it be the same even though if i said i don't love you? its not wrong for me to be loyal and love only one person. i really hope someone will understand my situation. its not fair for me to accept anyone if my heart still staying another person there. i really not good at this. rejecting people is too hard. i dont wanna lose my best friend. thats all. and maybe i am selfish. im sorry. i really dont know what i want for now. i just know that i will give up on him and find another one soon after i give him that present.i dont know what happen after that.but  if you really love me, give me some time. please dont leave me in a sudden. i wont promise 100% that i will come to you, but if you care me you wont treat me like a rubbish. i really used my heart to treat everyone of my friends. and not water fish. maybe im wrong. sorry. sorry. sorry so much.

PEOPLE CHANGED

people changed so fast.

you cant believe how fast it is.

same to me.

same to everyone.

i dont know what i want all the time

waiting the people you love 

he treat me like no one.

im kinda upset of that.

but i still cant resist to find him

why?

is this called love?

i really dont want to regret anything

dont want to miss out any right person

but if my heart still love him, 

i dont think i can together with others for a long time.

i should give up?

or standing there and wait for him? 

somehow, i believe, 

miracle will appeared. 

just wanna study well for my final, 

as long as he didnt ignore me,

i am already happy.

i just want to be happy;.

be in a relationship or not,

its not important anymore. 

although sometimes i really feel lonely and wanted someone to care me,

its alright.

i will still pretend to be tough ;)

i really miss us. the way we talked, we laughed. why feeling just fade away like that?

this conversation is the sweetest words i ever see. :'(

i love you . christopher chow ten foong

you are the second one i love that much after lsj. 

i will never forget. 

LOVE, WHY CANT BE SIMPLE?

sometimes i really dont know why make things become complicated
what so confusing about?
two persons love each other just together la
why should be[ him waiting her ]
or [her waiting him]?
what are you waiting for?
for me,
i dont wait to love.
when i found my love,
i will catch it
as i dont want it to become late.
cherish a person before its too late.
when the moment you really lost it,
you wont be able have the chance anymore.

not because of the one who dumping you, makes you feel wanting them back
it because we, human, dont wanna to be regret.
maybe it is worthless,
but at least you know you used all of your effort to get it back.
and you wont be regret anymore.
maybe.

thousands advice maybe heard,
but how many person do exactly what those advice told to do?
everyone have the humanity,
sometimes, feeling just cant be control.
you may feel anxiety, angry, sad to love
all of the emotions are so hard to be controlled.

why loving a person seemed so hard?
you may consider about the future,
but in a relationship doesnt means that you both are getting married or engaged,
it just a testing to live together.
maybe your thinking would not same with mine or you dont agree
this is what i think.
if you think its worth it,
and the person loves you,
dont wait too long.
cause when the feeling gone,
nothing you can do anymore to get it back.

i wont force somebody to be with me,
i will wait,
my commitment is real
same to my love.
i never play with love,
love is just something fragile to handle.

那个女人

有个男人爱着你

用心爱着你

那个男人爱着你

彻底爱着你

他情愿变成影子

守护着你跟随着你

那个男人爱着你

心却在哭泣

还需要多久　多长　多伤

你才会听见他没说的话

坚强像谎言一样

不过是一种伪装

他只希望有个机会能被你爱上

还需要多久　多长　多渴望

你才会走向他

贴在他的身旁

微笑像谎言一样

是最起码的假装

眼泪只能躲藏

那个男人爱着你

忘记了自己

从此他小心翼翼

静静等待爱情

他情愿选择相信

为了你不言不语

那个男人爱着你

伤埋在回忆

无论要　多久　多长　多伤

他还是爱着你　一如往常

就好像一个傻瓜

对着那空气说话

他会不会有个机会能被你爱上

还需要多久 多长 多渴望

你再回头想他

贴在他的身旁

微笑像谎言一样

是最起码的假装

眼泪只能躲藏

那个男人就是我

你知道吗

还是知道却假装不知道吗

问到沙哑

你也不会回答

MAY & JUNE

these two months,

i experienced a lots. 

i entered my first beauty pageant contest. 

i was accompanied my best friend casandra.

and the result was, 

everyone can guess,

i didnt even make it to final.

i was a little bit angry,

but i will still get over it.

i met a bunch of new friends.

they was so friendly and i was so happy.

they made me a memorable days,

so sad that i cant together with them till the end.

other than that, 

finally i found a trustable hair saloon. 

"CHILLI"

eugene, andy, cream and kenny. 

they are really good hairstylist.

this saloon is one of the sponsor of the contest.

they teached me how to kickboxing too.

its very fun and pain and sweat really a lot!

i very enjoyed the days until everything is going to change soon.

i wish the day will never come. 

cant believe that i learned so much things in just a month.

somehow i just realized,

the more i know,

the more i cant handle.

life is just hard.

why? god why?

why people chose to be realistic?

anyway,

its okay. i will be fine. 

i am tough enough i guess.

look forward for a bright tomorrow! :D

ME? WHO?

how can we called as happy in life?

have a simple life and smile always?

many people said that it is true that some people are smiling with a broken heart.

people just want to pretend happy and let everyone else to think that they are happy.

actually is this needed?

pretending is a very tiring activity ever.

why not to be yourself?

we need to face it, the same time we need some support or courage from others.

however, sometimes, we can feel.

feel that we are alone.

the feeling is indescribable.

a hard feeling that we need to go through.

so, some people will find love to overcome this feeling.

life.

is hard to live.

everyone knows.

but behind everyone's back have a little story there.

we cant believe that we are the person that living the hardest way.

people will tired for their burden or life.

but one thing i know,

we will never give up life and disappoint people we cared around us.

:)