i noticed that my mgs gang never concerned for my birthday.
why my birthday always seemed to be ignore by them?
i dont know lo.
when there is a birthday among them,
what they do,
i will participate in.
they always planning for it.
but not for my birthday.
two years ady.
its still the same.
i thought last year we never really celebrate because of spm.
quite disappointed.
they never seemed want to celebrate with me.
not even earlier.
sigh.
friends are always like that.
learned to it.
i dont wanna talk about it anymore,
one time and again.
few times dee la.
i am excluded from that gang.
what i need to do is study,
get my scholarship and gone.
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
24/11/2010
if we were not broken up,
this is the fifth month that we are together.
its already been half year,
at kampar.
in the beginning,
i thought,
i could build up a new life here.
eventually,
it's the same.
fed up.
who want to emo?
if i were happy with my life,
and it is satisfied,
why should i emo now?
the loneliness of my heart, the emptiness
makes me hard to move on,
every step that i taking now,
is much heavier.
the burden that im carrying now,
u all wouldnt know.
different people different life. thats it.
when every time i think about my birthday,
dont know why,
it seemed bad for me.
i am so scared,
the disappointment,
maybe i cant gone through it.
how?
there are always a lots of unfortunate things happened to me.
well,
i have nothing to say anymore...
this is the fifth month that we are together.
its already been half year,
at kampar.
in the beginning,
i thought,
i could build up a new life here.
eventually,
it's the same.
fed up.
who want to emo?
if i were happy with my life,
and it is satisfied,
why should i emo now?
the loneliness of my heart, the emptiness
makes me hard to move on,
every step that i taking now,
is much heavier.
the burden that im carrying now,
u all wouldnt know.
different people different life. thats it.
when every time i think about my birthday,
dont know why,
it seemed bad for me.
i am so scared,
the disappointment,
maybe i cant gone through it.
how?
there are always a lots of unfortunate things happened to me.
well,
i have nothing to say anymore...
Thursday, November 18, 2010
NOVEMBER
this few month,
i feel so depressed.
i lost my boyfriend and best friend.
am i really so suck?
i wanna cry all the time.
so bad luck.
how can i move on?
i dont know what can i do for the next moment.
can i just stay inside my dream forever?
i am really weak.
i am so excited for my birthday party.
but it just seems like a disappointment for me.
many people are not attending.
all said maybe got something to do.
is it?
i feel like wanna canceled it.
i dont want to feel the disappointment.
i am so scared.
being tough not easy
it needs much effort and strength.
what my best friend told me was hurts.
i cried,
so, what she care now?
she changed and she blame on me.
i apologized.
so?
we are not going back to the moment that we laughed together.
hoping my days will going to be better.
but im so tired already.
no one will cares, no one....
i feel so depressed.
i lost my boyfriend and best friend.
am i really so suck?
i wanna cry all the time.
so bad luck.
how can i move on?
i dont know what can i do for the next moment.
can i just stay inside my dream forever?
i am really weak.
i am so excited for my birthday party.
but it just seems like a disappointment for me.
many people are not attending.
all said maybe got something to do.
is it?
i feel like wanna canceled it.
i dont want to feel the disappointment.
i am so scared.
being tough not easy
it needs much effort and strength.
what my best friend told me was hurts.
i cried,
so, what she care now?
she changed and she blame on me.
i apologized.
so?
we are not going back to the moment that we laughed together.
hoping my days will going to be better.
but im so tired already.
no one will cares, no one....
Sunday, November 14, 2010
14/11/2010
oh.
need to countdown my birthday dee.
HAHA.
today whole day i were staying at sakai house after i woke up.
my room full of loneliness arrr.
only at sakai house i dont have any memories.
im happy here,
with sakai, chanel and sometimes whitney too.
seriously im addicted to the movie vampire diaries <333
the movie is awesome.
haha.
today im done the stick stick wall thing in their room.
lol. kinda nice.
but expensive lea.
3o bucks wo.
HAHA. chanel took it for free la.
now sakai is cooking.
hungryyyy. chiao~
need to countdown my birthday dee.
HAHA.
today whole day i were staying at sakai house after i woke up.
my room full of loneliness arrr.
only at sakai house i dont have any memories.
im happy here,
with sakai, chanel and sometimes whitney too.
seriously im addicted to the movie vampire diaries <333
the movie is awesome.
haha.
today im done the stick stick wall thing in their room.
lol. kinda nice.
but expensive lea.
3o bucks wo.
HAHA. chanel took it for free la.
now sakai is cooking.
hungryyyy. chiao~
Friday, November 12, 2010
DREAM
Sunday, November 7, 2010
IS THIS MY SICKNESS?
i think i need some medicine.
i should buy any sleeping pills?
i am sick.
heart aching, insomnia, illusion.
when can i recover?
why supposed all the people think about me is a playgirl that not easily get hurt.
i got through everything.
SO?
this time i really cant.
who can understand me?
who truly care me?
i really dont know.
i had lost myself.
i am getting crazy of this.
i want to leave my life now!
i should buy any sleeping pills?
i am sick.
heart aching, insomnia, illusion.
when can i recover?
why supposed all the people think about me is a playgirl that not easily get hurt.
i got through everything.
SO?
this time i really cant.
who can understand me?
who truly care me?
i really dont know.
i had lost myself.
i am getting crazy of this.
i want to leave my life now!
Thursday, November 4, 2010
4/11/2010
oh. today i went to participate utar model search.
and guess what?
it's suck!
im look like a fat girl in the pic.
stupid photographer. dont know how to take the angle.
ARGHHH.
most probably i wont get to in for that event.
im just ugly. erk.
HAHA. never mind. idk
sigh.
im just failed in everything.
dont want to think too much. move on :)
and guess what?
it's suck!
im look like a fat girl in the pic.
stupid photographer. dont know how to take the angle.
ARGHHH.
most probably i wont get to in for that event.
im just ugly. erk.
HAHA. never mind. idk
sigh.
im just failed in everything.
dont want to think too much. move on :)
Monday, November 1, 2010
1/11/2010
first day of november
i went to jogging today
long time didnt go
and today i am quite tired.
my life filled with activities.
i want to train six pax.
and all my friend looking down on me.
they say whenever i got the result,
i get the things i want.
need to be hardworking on it. LOL
hmmm.
i took bicycle at his house just now.
i thought he will cleaned up the bike for me.
i knocked the window.
he opened and the voice sounds like beh song.
sigh.
what i have to do?
pretend lor
pretend that i am nothing
sigh
i went to jogging today
long time didnt go
and today i am quite tired.
my life filled with activities.
i want to train six pax.
and all my friend looking down on me.
they say whenever i got the result,
i get the things i want.
need to be hardworking on it. LOL
hmmm.
i took bicycle at his house just now.
i thought he will cleaned up the bike for me.
i knocked the window.
he opened and the voice sounds like beh song.
sigh.
what i have to do?
pretend lor
pretend that i am nothing
sigh
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