WHAT SHOULD I DO?

am i a irritate person?
am i irritating to him now?
i really want to know.
there are so many question on my mind.
who can really answer it all?
only YOU.
today i passed by MPH bookstore and i felt like wanna to study bible.
almost a lots of things he influenced me.
he affects my life.
what he love,
now i really love.
MU, Jesus, lee hom, and many more.
finding a partner that could matched up our life is hard.
i found one.
and its hard for me to let go.
i want to cherish it.
i want happiness.
i am always wondering,
'what is he doing now?'
'what he is thinking now?'
'does he facing any problem now?'
maybe as my friend said,
i am too irritating,
thats why he keep wants to ignore me.
sigh.
wiping tears everyday.
my tears become cheap cheap dee.
i also dont want.
it comes out easily.
malfunction perhaps?
LOL. ridiculous lar.
today i stopped by petrol station.
guess what?
it reminds me the most funny memories.
he poured petrol on my legs.
my legs felt cold and i scared i will get burned.
and after that he told me
"our fate is so funny"
i remembered every words he had said.
i think, he is the most regretful person for me.
i dont believe in guys and love anymore.
every words of commitment is just temporarily.
any second,
they can kick your ass off.
single,is the only way i can do.