DE NEST

aiks.today went to kopitiam and reunion with my buddy'moon'.then went to yeolde english with amy,yong,brian, and boo.i ordered an egg sandwich.and its taste like shit.ewwww.while im eating.i look back and thats him!gosh.no appetite lor.then he went away.brian called him and he asked brian to club at de nest.at first he ask brian whether i got go or not.brian say no.arghh.he dont wish me to go huh???we all decided to go de nest then.luckily my jing at there with last time clubbing fren.owh.such a awfuul night.ken seng there.we stand there with amy,jing,wayne,brian,yong,him and envy ooi.kan seng come and wayne pushed me to hug him.oOo.i dint wish to.wayne daring me to hug me but no.i given a reason that i dont wanna be soooooo cheap so i dint go hug him.wayne says im scared.i admitted.i know.wayne just want me to give him see that got ppl hug me and make him jealous.but.will him?i dont think so.then he dance tecktonic.hmm..VERY YENG!!im not the only one who said that.same to amy and jing too.thats is one of the reason why i love him so much.just now.the feelings comes again.arghh.ken seng kept on hugging me and i feel shit!!!!!i hate it lo.fuck off la.that stupid wayne la.ask him hug me for what??no more water jo.give that ken took all away.ish.sigh.misssss himm alotsssss.fan jin.they thought im a person that easy to love someone.means.PLAYGIRL.hey.they dont know what happened.never mind.im choosing the one who love me the most is it more worth than choosing who i love the most?i dont know.anyway.now.im not the one who consider to choose who again.as he is gone.confused

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMY

today is my buddy birthday. amy yap siew theng..whee~~anyway.i dont think she had a good celebration for her birthday this year.sigh.i know one.so tonight gonna buy her a birthday cake.hahaha.hope she will be happy a bit.althought me and amy just close not long ago.she is a nice person.can mix one.hmmm..something weird happen.he cant get off of my mind.im an useless person.trying to forget him.need a lots of time.while with my sunny boy.i cant stop thinking him.everything he do just keep me reminding him.are sunny is just a replacement of him?i dont know.everything cant get back as normal like last month.just can be a normal friend like we used to be when at club.can you fall for me again?the days of letting you go are hard to me.changing myself from one day to one day

MAY

this month i felt so suck.bad luck never get off from me.many things happened and i feel shit.i argue with him and now.he is avoiding me.what now?sigh.the first week i have been argued with him.same with the following weeks.and then.i lost my new phone.just bought not enough one month.i dropped it.the same day,i found out he flirt with a girl.she told me.the next thing was my facebook account and msn gave someone hacked.damn.i dont know guy or girl la.but it said hate me.am i an irritating person?and yesterday.he fetch a girl to club.i dont like it.but he still fetching her with the reason of "PROMISE".fine.and now i felt that he is avoiding me.

he promised me.he wont flirt other girls again.but will he?i dont know.i believe in him.i trust him.because i love him.he dont want to couple.i respect him.one day he says to me:"i put my family at the first place,friends second and girlfriend the last". but.yesterday.i asked him to fetch me.he said.cannot cause need to fetch that girl.i very angry.i cried.i told him i dont like.he rather fetch her also dont fetch me.friend more important than me?but.she is a girl.please.i know we re not together.perhaps,u should care about my feeling too.everyone persued me.please let it go.im letting.it's hard.i can see him online at fb.but i cant see him on his msn.what does it means?he really dint open it or blocked me? haha.i found a joke.that girl says to me.he not the first time fetch her back home.its really funny.sigh.i dont know la.fan jin.please god.get me out of here!i feel like dying.the girl told me she starting to like him.will them wont have any relation after i went to kampar?can u bet?

anyway,i hurt someone.someone thats really treat me good with all his heart.i accepted him.at first,i want to forget the other one and together with him.but the feeling just weird.not the same.finally.i broke up with him.because my guilty become more and more.i need sometimes.perhaps,i will accept him back someday.