CONFUSED

sometimes,i see the world and i thought i can use my effort to forget you. however, it is not what i am expected. your power in me is absolutely over controlled myself. when the time i was walking back from utar to westlake, the environment there is so beautiful. the beauty of the mother earth let me realized that the world won't stop rounding or goes for you. the memories won't stop reminding me of your pampers,the way u treat me and YES. I AM selfish. i don't hope to let any of this you used to treat me will be using on another girl. "i hope that you will be happy with your life". OH. it sounds sarcastic nor dramatic neither. seriously, that will be a lie. actually, from my deepest of my heart, i hope you will be suffering all alone without me and won't be happy for the rest of your days. MUAHAHAHAHA. yes. i am bad. but i know, i wouldn't say like this cause it will destroyed my images if i say so. NO la. because i am kind gea. HAHA. now, lets talk about my friendship.

what's a full definition for the word "FRIEND"?
this question has been also annoying me for quite long. i didn't really try to say out my feeling as i don't want any misunderstanding from any of my friend. i see disappointed in this friendship. perhaps, i am too emotional. where is them when i need them? i do standby here for them, but they never think of me. i am sad. i don't know what to do with my life anymore. it is meaningless and i don't know what's i am going to work hard to achieve nothing. i am following the path that my mummy had set on me. i am not happy with me life now.

I KNOW IS MY MISTAKE

i know i done something wrong. i didnt meant to hurt you.before this i really loved you. no lie. Im sorry. that night i am not purposely sleep and ignored you. i really tired on that night and my behavior is like that. i dont know that will hurts you and made you think so much. i know that i am not supposed to holding you again. but i just wanted it to be better. we can be each other best friend. i just dont want to lose you sunny boy. you are really important to me. im sorry. now, nothing can fix in this relation. you are escaping. nothing i could do.